Umamusume: Pretty Derby – Party Dash Game Review – Game Review

Getting the foal-cal mobile game for Uma Musume Pretty Derby in English has oddly proved a pipe dream thus far for fans of the anthropomorphized racehorse girls. In the meantime, players are presented with a horse of a different color to hop onto with Party Dash: a sports-festival-themed mini-game collection that is receiving a simultaneous global release. It’s a surprising choice, given the Uma Musume is a niche property outside of Japan. But you can go into Wal-Mart and buy multiple Touhou spin-offs for the Nintendo Switch, so maybe even a niche anime game these days isn’t that much of a dark horse.

It’s not like Party Dash doesn’t have a pedigree apart from its equestrian efforts. This game is Arc System Works‘ transplanting of the esteemed horse girls into the model of the Kunio-kun sports spin-off series, which elder gamers may remember as Crash ‘n’ the Boys: Street Challenge. If mashing up the marketable horse girl idols with delinquent street toughs sounds like an odd fit, know that it fits the gameplay framework well alongside a slight aesthetic flourish. The graphics in the game render the horse girls in expressive pixelated sprites that are sort of akin to the old Kunio-kun/River City model if you squint. Either way, they’re distinctive, and communicate the would-be arcadey charm of the collection, while still keeping the characters fairly emotive. There are several unique cartoony reaction animations for each character and the sprites do a good job of communicating little ticks like Still in Love’s sly yandere grin or Gold Ship’s goofy little moonwalk.

The energies of these sprites are on display in the story modes afforded to the teams the stable of girls has been sorted into. Party Dash occupies a sports-festival-styled side competition to Uma Musume‘s usual derbies, so the characters aren’t grouped together the way fans might be familiar with. It’s an opportunity for unique character groupings, like having Tokai Teio share space with her idol Symboli Rudolf or Sweep Tosho mentoring Aston Machan in the ways of being a magical girl. The story segments are pretty brief, inconsequential interstitials between single-player practicing of events. They pointedly don’t reach the intense dramatic heights of the Uma Musume anime (which I know sounds like a joke if you haven’t seen the show, but if you have, you know) but they don’t really overstay their welcome either—though the repetition of games through each story’s otherwise brisk seven chapters does start to wear.

Necessarily, those mini-games are going to be the main attraction of Party Dash, so it behooves me to go through each one. Basketball comes up first on the Grand Prix rotation—and it’s a solid enough tone-setter for the Party Dash experience. It’s inherently amusing watching these anime-idol horse girls dribbling, dashing, and dunking on each other across the court—not to mention a frequency of special balls and abilities activating to keep things lively. Though the court itself can seem a little big for just four players, the stealing mechanic has some temperamental timing (and it’s not the only one in the game).

Keeping things rolling is another ball-based game, in dodgeball. On paper, this is the most simplistic entry, and it honestly started to grate on me as it came up for the umpteenth time in the single-player campaign. Charging special abilities takes forever, and the narrow margins of scoring based entirely on how long you last in the match can make games feel unfair. However, the plot twist is that this event turned out to be the most fun me and my friends had with the game when we fired up the multiplayer. It brought just the right amount of skill-based battle and controlled chaos as we figured out how the various special throws and gimmicky balls worked.

The eating contest is, conversely, a mini-game I think I more enjoyed in concept. It fits in with the way the horse-girls are seen chowing down on food in the anime and is the only game that lets you assign a duo of characters to compete together. It’s got a solid amount of mechanics for players to engage with but the default rounds make it drag on a little bit. There isn’t as much opportunity to screw with your opponents as would really make a game like this come to life—it’s too easy for players to “lock in” on their own routine and it just becomes a battle of eating attrition until the time runs out.

Finally, the Grand Prix finishes up with the hurdling race game. It’s a natural inclusion, since even if this is a side competition, not having a horse-racing game in this game about racehorses would just seem silly—sillier than Uma Musume normally seems, I mean. The race is the most robust feeling of the games, due to the sheer amount of ground it (literally) covers but isn’t too much more demanding than the others. It’s all about maneuvering, using items, and racking up points mainly by hitting the button to hop over those hurdles—another one of those mechanics in this game with seemingly extremely strict, temperamental timing. It at least means it’s satisfying every time you do pull off a proper jump, and the sheer spectacle of these pixelated ponies smashing through houses and getting fired out of cannons makes it engaging to go through with friends at least a few times.

These mini-games are all fair amounts of fun enough, with the primary problem being there are only those four of them! It honestly feels a bit galling for what’s being sold as a full mini-game “collection.” Even Crash ‘n’ the Boys had five games—one more than Party Dash here—and that was back on the NES! There are a handful of minor timing and mechanical settings you can mess with for each mini-game in multiplayer but no true variations on each contest. Beyond feeling limiting, there are also clear missed opportunities—you’re seriously telling me this franchise of all things doesn’t include HORSE as an option for its basketball mode?

I should stress, Uma Musume Party Dash is fun to horse around with while hanging out with friends. It’ll absolutely keep you and a group entertained for an evening or two—even if lacking as it does a more robust board game mode or another mechanic like in Mario Party to serve as the glue holding these equine events together. It’s possible to land on one game that clicks with your crew, as mine did with dodgeball. You might even discover that one of your friends is a preternaturally talented horse hustler who shocks everyone by running away with the game (you know who you are, Travis). It works even if the group has limited knowledge of the Uma Musume franchise—and I suspect it’d kill if you broke out your Switch and some spare controllers during a fan meetup at a convention or something.

But Party Dash is just amusing enough in the social short term and pretty disposable in the lonesome long term. Running through all the stories nets you enough points to unlock some secret bonus horse girls and then you’re left grinding other gameplay to buy the other preset ponies if you want to set them to your custom team. The games can be played online if you engage enough with them to want to compete absent interactions with real-life friends. There’s a club room-decorating mode if you’re into that sort of thing and utilizing that opens up a bonus mode: “Golshi’s Grand Adventure II,” a cute little build-based endless runner type game starring Gold Ship—everyone’s real favorite horse girl (and the only one my non-Uma Musume-faithful friends recognized). I can see this being a mode some people could sink a solid amount of single-player time into. It might be worth factoring into your decision to purchase this package if something like “Vampire Survivors if starred Gold Ship” sounds like it might appeal to you—though it is still a relatively light distraction.

The quantity versus the quality is what tears me on my recommendation of Uma Musume Party Dash. It’s a terrifically presented package that’s plenty of fun even if the people you’re playing with don’t know Mejiro McQueen from Lightning McQueen. But the asking price (retail is a cool $45) may feel just a bit too steep for something that’s going to be an entertaining weekend filler at most. If you’ve got a gang of Uma Musume die-hards that’ll get a horse-kick out of having this around, maybe go in for it (and confirm that your favorite horse girl is here, or if they’re slated for the scheduled DLC). For everyone else interested, maybe wait for a sale, since this collection likely won’t keep you entertained furlong.